SerpentLibertine

Sex Worker, Activist, Antagonistic Sympathizer

Did you know that? Well now you do.

Here’s a brief background-
The day originated in 2001 when over 25,000 sex workers gathered in India for a sex worker festival. The organizers, Durbar Mahila Samanwaya Committee, a Calcutta based group whose membership consists of somewhere upwards of 50,000 sex workers and members of their communities. Sex worker groups across the world have subsequently celebrated 3 March as International Sex Workers’ Rights Day.

Durbar Mahila Samanwaya Committee: “We felt strongly that that we should have a day what need to be observed by the sex workers community globally. Keeping in view the large mobilization of all types of global sex workers [Female,Male,Transgender], we proposed to observe 3rd March as THE SEX WORKERS RIGHTS DAY.

It’s a great reminder of how well-organized many of the sex worker advocacy groups are around the world and how here in the US, we are struggling every day. I know we try hard, but I will say that it’s such a difficult fight here in the states. I couldn’t even imagine being able to get 25,000 sex workers to come together for one event here (unless maybe it was happening on Facebook). Perhaps we have “US privilege” and people think that everything is just fine and dandy here, but we are living under some of the strictest laws against  prostitution here. Not to mention the most negative attitudes towards sex work.

I became active in sex worker advocacy and organizing about 3 years ago when I attended a party, in honor of International Sex Worker Rights Day, and started talking to the two fabulous ladies that founded the SWOP-Chicago chapter, kittenINFINITE and Betty Devoe. I’d been an activist for quite some time, but hadn’t done anything in regards to sex worker rights at that point, even though I’d desperately wanted to. I guess I wasn’t googling to right organizations otherwise I would have found a world of resources, many of the available on my links sidebar. Still, in relation to how many years I’ve actually been a sex worker, 3 years isn’t very long. I’d had a longstanding desire to improve the conditions for myself and others working in the industry, but didn’t have the proper knowledge or support to do it. It’s been a pretty amazing ride over the past three years and I definitely think we’ve made a lot of progress, at least here in Chicago, but every day I think about how we can really take this to another level, how we can really get the public opinion to change (ever so gradually), and what more I myself can do as an activist. Then I realize I can’t do everything…and I shouldn’t try.

It’s been tough for me in the past year in terms of putting myself out there as a leader in this movement, having to make controversial decisions, knowing that people judge my words and actions. I’m only one voice here and don’t claim to speak for anyone else. I’m a big believer in encouraging people to take a stand and speak for themselves. I know it’s difficult for many sex workers, but it’s what I believe is the cornerstone of what this whole sex worker rights/advocacy movement is all about. Real change doesn’t begin with an organization, a rally, or groups. It starts with the individual. I think the only way real change can occur is when we, as individuals, change the way we view ourselves, the industry we work in, and how others perceive us.

You don’t need to be an activist to create real change. Your words, your actions, your attitude can all contribute to the progression of our movement. All I’ve done is the past three years was to try to be a positive example. it’s still a work in progress. But it’s all that I would encourage others to do as well.

Yep, did mine today. An no, I didn’t put “sex worker” as my profession.

This seems to be a touchy subject in the sex work world…and why shouldn’t it be? Anyone who works in a cash-only profession is tempted to ignore Uncle Sam at this time of year, but as I always tell people “the IRS doesn’t care what you do, they want your money.” That includes drug dealers and other illicit types, too! Of all the gripes about prostitution, the “prostitutes don’t pay their taxes, this is why we should legalize it,” seems to be the one of the most common. Just look at the commentary (most of it uninformed) following this article about a prostitution bust this week. One outraged commented said, “Just like other criminal activity such as theft and drug trafficking no taxes were paid on this income or service so ALL OF US are victims! ALL OF US pay taxes so criminals can get off scott free.” Oh pipe down, tank. I would say 75% of my sex worker friends pay taxes and are pretty diligent about staying “legal” as they understand that repercussions are way more serious than anything “Joe vice cop” could do do their lives. Such professions as “life coach” (a popular one), “adult entertainer”, “model”, and “professional muse” are often used as aliases. Still don’t believe me? A few weeks ago, the subject of our bi-monthly SWOP meeting was “Money 101: Finance For Sex Workers” and it was one of our most well-attended meetings in the past year. Most of the workers admitted to paying taxes, while one new attendee showed up looking for advice on what to do after working her first year “off the record.” The response to the meeting was actually so-positive that I suggested we offer again at this time next year.

This past Wednesday I presented at a Human Sexuality class at Northwestern University and of the half dozen questions I was asked after the presentation, one was about how sex workers pay their taxes. I defended my peers in the industry saying most paid, my co-presenter fessed up and said he didn’t. And it’s true. A lot of sex workers don’t pay taxes. A lot of people in other industries don’t pay them either. I have a cab driver friend who ’s told me he hasn’t paid taxes in over twenty years. It’s tough to keep track of all that cash coming in and if you’re not depositing it in a bank account, it makes sense that someone wouldn’t see the need to file. But if you’re a sex worker who wants to make a major purchase someday such as a car or a house, you damn well better be sure to paying something to the government or you’re gonna be SOL. Still, even meeting with an accountant can be a daunting task as they ask you questions about your work purchases and ask for check stubs to show proof of income. For most workers, even an invasion such this is a bit frightening. And that’s not even the worst part.

If you’re an independent worker, there’s a pretty good chance you’re gonna owe a chunk of change once all the paperwork is filled out and knowing the habits of sex workers like I do, most people don’t have that money saved up. They don’t know how much they should be saving, when they should be paying, what they should be paying, or basically anything. If sex workers were better educated on financial matters and had access to sex worker friendly accountants such as the Tax Domme, perhaps many of them wouldn’t be burying their heads in the sand come April 15.I’m not saying everybody’s willing to pay, but most are just scared. Scared of owing more than they have, scared of being audited, scared of going to jail after not paying for several years. So I think the general gripe that people have about prostitutes and such not paying their taxes is just another bullshit excuse to get angry about all the money we’re making that they’re not. More of us would pay if we got more respect, yo!

As for me, I’m actually not putting everything off until April 15 this year and it feels good! Well, not really, but…

I had another post planned for tonight, but was sidetracked by the sad news of the death of Jamie Gillis, my favorite porn star of all time. Jamie wasn’t just your average big dick porn dude, but a real actor who was sexy, charming, and and intellectual. The kind of man you always wished for, who would stimulate you between the ears as much as he would between the legs. In the 70’s heyday of porn, when adult movies were actual “films” with real story lines, Jamie had a role in all the best ones, including my favorite, ‘The Opening of Misty Beethoven.”

Several years back, my buddy David and I would hang out at a bar where the classic star Seka was working and she would reminisce about working on films with Jamie and how he was her favorite male performer to work with. He kept a basic website with just an email address on it and I decided to write him about a few years back regarding  a porn film festival I was contemplating putting together here. A few days later, while sitting in traffic on the Kennedy Expressway, I received a call on my cell. The voice said “Hi, it’s Jamie Gillis,” and I promptly responded with a “omg, you’re kidding, no way, etc.” He mocked me a bit and I laughed, and then…my phone battery died. It was comically embarrassing. It took almost a month of phone tag for me to actually get him on the phone again and the conversation was briefer than I had hoped, but he suggested I get back in contact with him if I was able to organize the event. Alas, money and venue concerns became an issue and it never came to fruition. Still, the thought of meeting Jamie or even possibly having sex with Jamie crossed my mind a few times. What a trip that would have been.

A few months ago, my friends and I watched the infamous film from the 70’s, Water Power, in which he plays an enema bandit who stalks women and forces enemas on them. It’s pure Gillis…full of fetish, but erotically charged and so “out there” that is becomes an instant classic. You could imagine dirty old men sneaking into sleazy theaters to watch this disgusting film, but Gillis is in top form. He plays the character straight through the whole film, a man obsessed, until the final horrifying scene, which, based on most reports of his voracious sexual appetite, he probably enjoyed thoroughly. He was a dirty old man, but one of the most classy of those.

We’re never short on political scandals here in Illinois and it didn’t take long after this last election-the next day, to be exact- for this latest one to blow up involving the newly elected Democratic candidate for Lieutenant Governor, Scott Lee Cohen (In Illinois, Governor and Lt. Governor run completely separate from one another). Turns out Cohen was arrested several years back for holding a knife to an ex-girlfriend’s throat, a fact he was open about during the campaign process, but apparently nobody paid any attention to it until he won the primary. Thanks for keeping the voters informed, media. You fucking suck, as always. Of course the kicker here is that said girlfriend in Cohen’s case was convicted on a prostitution charge in 2005 at the “Eden Spa”, the same place Cohen met her. He says he didn’t know she had been convicted of prostitution, others are saying the place was well-known for prostitution. The media, of course, are saying all sorts of stupid shit, as well as posting this poor woman’s mugshot on the cover of the paper with words like “hooker” and “convicted prostitute” in the headlines, leaving us to wonder who exactly is running for office here.

The Republicans are secretly thanking you, fucker

Now, this Scott Lee Cohen guy does seem like a grade-A douchebag, but part of me kinda believes him when he says he didn’t know his girlfriend was a “prostitute.” She probably wasn’t, but you also have to realize a lot of us keep secrets, even from loved ones and family. She probably was giving “straight massages”, as he thought, at the Spa but every so often if a client came in and offered the right amount of money, he would get a happy ending. It happens all the time. Suburban cops, who have nothing better to do with their time, thought it would be a fun to set up a sting on said massage spa and trick some cute girl into agreeing to give him a hand job with his regular massage. As bad as that situation was for her, I’m sure she never thought that 5 years later her ex-boyfriend would be running for political office and she’d have to re-live this hell all over again, with the media digging for details of her personal life, even though she’s not running for office herself or even still dating this guy. Apparently she’s still employed at the same spa (in a different location) and now she’s got nosy Tribune reporters showing up at her workplace trying to make appointments with her to see if they can get a “happy ending” too. Her livelihood and income is probably now at serious risk, as well as any future employment opportunites. And let’s remember here, she was originally the victim in this case.

I don’t know this woman involved in the scandal but I can imagine that she had friends  and family that had no idea of her life or her arrest and now it’s front page news for the world to see. It scares the hell out of me because this very well could be myself or one of my industry friends in the exact same situation. One of our ex-clients or ex-boyfriends decides to run for office or has a high profile job and next thing you know, it’s us being thrown into the spotlight even though we did nothing to put ourselves there. How do you move forward when you’ve been disrespected by the media in this way? Remember Ashley DuPre, the escort is the Elliot Spitzer scandal? She’s now writing for the NY Post, one of the many media outlets that disrespected her during that scandal. Not exactly the wisest career moved in my opinion, but I’m sure she figured if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

While members of the Illinois Democratic party are pressuring Cohen to step down, perhaps some good might come out of this scandal. Perhaps people will come to the realization that A) sex workers are everywhere and let’s get over the “oh my God, that’s awful!” fucking hysteria surrounding this type of work, B) Just because someone agreed to give an undercover cop a hand job at a spa once doesn’t mean she is a “prostitute.” It means she was set up, and lastly C) People should be outraged that their tax dollars are being spent on undercover “prostitution” stings at massage spas. Really people…isn’t this what the news outlets should be reporting on? The fact that precious Illinois tax dollars are being wasted on what hardly amounts to a crime? But no, now the focus has shifted away from Cohen, who’s done things much worse that what this woman did and on her, just so they can throw around words like “hooker” and “prostitute” instead of “domestic abuser” and  “tax cheat” in the name of selling papers.

There really is no happy ending here, for anyone involved. Cohen will hopefully resign, the scandal will blow over in a week or so, but this woman’s reputation has been damaged forever. And you can sure as shit guarantee that come November we’re going to have a Republican elected governor of Illinois.

Postscript- Cohen did resign as the Lt. Governor nominee on 2/7 during Super Bowl half time at a bar with his family on Chicago’s north side. Yes, that’s how we do things here in Chicago, at bars.

Well, looky here. I finally got rid of that crappy old Blogger blog and moved my shit over to Wordpress. Well, almost all of it. Seems that my comments didn’t quite import with the rest of the blog posts, so here I am feeling pretty unpopular. So leave me some comments. Or re-post your old ones!  If you’re really curious, check out the comments on this old version of my blog. Haven’t exactly closed the book on this matter yet, so perhaps there’s hope that the comments may someday turn up, but I’m not holding out for a miracle.

The good news is I’ve updated the links and added a lot more blogs and resources. (If I’m missing any links please let me know and I will add them.) The blog looks a lot bigger and better. The bad news is that I’m still a lazy blogger.

Much thanks to D for his help and patience in getting all this imported and whatnot. Couldn’t have done it without you. Really.

Just a friendly reminder that this year’s Desiree Alliance Conference is happening this year in Las Vegas, July 25-30. If you’re not in the know, the conference is a national convergence of sex workers, activists, and our allies coming together for 3 days of amazing presentations, parties, and organizing. I’ll be heading up the Media Team again at this year’s conference and hopefully I’ll be co-presenting with one of my favorite people in the whole world (come to conference to see why!). The presentation proposal deadline is quickly approaching…March 1…so this is an encouragement to all the sex workers out there to out something together and present! It doesn’t have to be complicated at all, anyone can do it. I got nervous about submitting a presentation for the last conference, but I just wrote a few paragraphs and it was totally good. The theme this year is “Working Sex: Power, Practice, and Politics.”

So start planning for July! It’d be so great to meet everyone there…the last conference in Chicago was a great experience so hopefully this year will be even better!

Desiree Alliance Conference- Call For Proposals

Alright, I’m finally finding a spare moment to sit down and write a blog post after a whirlwind of a week that’s left me bit drained. I’d actually been thinking about doing an entry on a lot of the drama surrounding people in this industry for quite sometime, way before the drama llama reared its ugly head last week upon the release of this article. The resulting shitstorm is starting to leave me feeling a bit uneasy, but more on that later.

My friend David, a porn performer, and I argue all the time about the propensity for drama among sex workers. I try to insist that drama happens frequently among people in all industries, and he fights me off, saying that it’s way more common among those in the sex industry. It makes sense, given the hostility projected upon us by outsiders, those of us who have to lead “double lives”, and a variety of other factors including drug/alcohol abuse and mental illness. In the escort community, which I know the best, you see providers duking it out on the message boards, at parties, in person, on blogs, wherever. Somebody gets their panties in a bunch over some little trivial situation and next thing you know a flame war starts and we’re all supposed to take sides on the issue. Those of us caught in the middle end up in an awkward situation of not knowing the right thing to say or do. It’s happened to all of us before.

That’s not to say that I’m immune to this behavior at all. I readily admit that I’m not. I had a falling out with an industry friend of mine earlier this year because I became friends with a person she disliked and instead of believing the lies she’d told me about him, I chose to make my own decision. The drama llama came out in full force for a little while then and I do have friends that are caught on either sides of the issue. Some of her resulting actions have proven to be so destructive that I’ve chosen not to associate with her ever again, but I respect my friends decisions to stay neutral in the argument. Still, these situations don’t help my argument against David too well.

Perhaps I need to face the truth- yeah, sex workers tend to be full of drama. And I’m sure there’s someone out there saying, “because it’s an industry full of women,” but I think it’s a little more complicated than that. It’s a competitive industry that has serious ups and downs, legal repercussions, possible negative backlash from friends/family, and the lure of fast money that gets spent even faster. People get paranoid and angry and start unleashing their anger on those closest to them…usually their peers or close friends. Of course, as an activist I want to tell people that this kind of temperamental behavior threatens to bring us all down as a community, but let’s face it, people engaging in drama could usually care less about that shit. Still, it hurts. People are already pointing fingers at us and when’s there’s some major drama happening amongst sex workers, people are pointing fingers at us saying “look at the freakshow.”

Which brings me to last weeks drama over the article questioning the identity of escort blogger Alexa DiCarlo. Sorry if I’m a day late and a dollar short on getting my blog response out on this, but I’ve always maintained that I’m not the most prolific blogger. Quite honestly, I prefer to talk to people in person as it takes a lot less time than writing. Anyways…I was approached by Spread magazine editor Monica Shores about doing an interview for an article she was working on about sex worker bloggers. I was never told that the article would be about Alexa, but the last question that she asked about “entirely anonymous bloggers that claim to be prostitutes” tipped me off. I wrote what I honestly felt about the situation and I stand by it. I did also write and am partially quoted in the article as saying, “We have enough problems and issues in this industry to deal with and the last thing we need is another huge controversy.” Aaaaannnddd, that’s what we got. If you haven’t read all the responses to the article yet, do yourself a favor and catch up here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and of course, here. Woof!

As far as Alexa goes, she seemed like a nice enough person on her twitter feed that genuinely cared about sex worker rights and I’d engaged in twitversations with her from time to time. People have been raising suspicions about her identity for awhile and when she approached SWOP-USA earlier this year about supporting her “Code of Ethics” for sex workers, several people raised concerns about not just the Code but Alexa herself. She was asked to meet with a rep from SWOP before we threw support for anything that she did, and she declined. So no, there was no disorganization on our part; people just thought she was shady. Look, I can understand if someone doesn’t want to hang out with other sex workers, but why go through such trouble to keep your identity hidden? It only makes people think you have something to hide.

I let the Alexa thing go for awhile until myself and several other activists in the community received a letter from someone called “Girl By the Bay” once again questioning the identity of Alexa, stating that she had no escort reviews (hey, it’s possible), linking to the Caitlin’s Corner website, and then linked to this camgirl website in which the girl in the photos was same one in the photos on Alexa’s advertising site, MySpace, and former Facebook profile. Sure, it could’ve been Alexa, but I’d never heard Alexa mention that she did webcam work and the “Blue Eyed Cass” girl seems to reside on the east coast while Alexa lives in SF. The two also have significantly different writing styles. Something wasn’t adding up.

Several of us have been talking about it for awhile, but the question of *who* was going to confront her about it seemed to be somewhat difficult to delegate. So when Monica’s article came out last week, all of a sudden the cat was out of the bag and whomever Alexa is, she seems to be defying her own “Code of Ethics.” I will say that one of the most interesting revelations in the article for me was the identity of Shirley Shave, one of the first bloggers I asked to exchange links with when I started blogging back in 2003. Apparently, I haven’t read Shirley’s blog since March 6, 2006, when “she” revealed that “her” real identity was Henry Baum, a novelist looking to get his book published. Shows how up-to-date I am on all these blogs.

While it’s somewhat a relief that this mystery is now out in the open for discussion, the resulting controversy is getting pretty ugly and perhaps it’s time to reign in the drama llama and direct our attention at more pressing issues facing the sex worker community. After all, it’s the holidays. Let’s direct the shitslinging at the people who deserve it the most…our families!

Every year on December 17, we honor those of us in the sex industry who have fallen victims of violence while on the job. Please join us this year at our event in CHicago or any of the other events going on across the world.

On December 17, 2009 Sex Workers Outreach Project-Chicago will join other sex worker rights organizations all over the world in commemorating the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. This date was chosen by Dr. Annie Sprinkle in recognition of the conviction of Gary Ridgway, the Green River killer, a man whose reign of terror over almost twenty years resulted in the known deaths of 48 women. These women, who also happened to be sex workers, were targeted by Ridgway because, in his own words, “I picked prostitutes because I thought I could kill as many of them as I wanted without getting caught”.

Our current laws, enforcement practices and narrow social perceptions create a supportive environment for other Gary Ridgways to exist and thrive. One of our concerns is that sex work is an industry that is often marginalized, dangerous, or criminal. We want to see safety and rights granted to all sex workers – those in the industry by choice as well as those in the industry who want out. SWOP-Chicago invites the community to commemorate this day with us as we remember colleagues lost to violence in the past year, to learn why laws both current and pending increase harm against the sex worker population and what can be done to create a non-violent future where violence against sex workers is an occurrence of the past.

A vigil will be hosted by SWOP-Chicago at the Barbara and Barbara Gallery, located at 1021 N. Western Avenue on Thursday, December 17. The vigil will feature a community art project, a candle lighting ceremony as the names of the victims are read as well as a variety of speakers, readings and performers reflecting the diversity of the sex worker community. We invite current and former sex workers, adult industry performers, or those impacted by the sex trade to come out and speak about their experiences in the industry or bring something to read. Food and snacks provided.

Barbara & Barbara Gallery
1021 N. Western Ave.
Chicago, Illinois
Reception starts at 6:30pm

Event runs until 10 pm

No cover, but beverages available by donation

Well, well. Looks like that huge publicity stunt that Sheriff Tom Dart pulled back in March has finally come to an end. Most of us who were in the know about Craigslist lawsuits knew it would pretty much turn out this way, but that doesn’t stop publicity-seeking politicians from taking aim at the website in their efforts to get their names in the papers. Nonetheless, Dart got what he wanted when the “Erotic Services” section was pulled in May, but things seems to be business as usually in the new “Adult Services” section. Guess he’ll never learn!

This lawsuit caused us a lot of grief when it was originally filed. We had to rush to issue a statement on the day of our benefit party, arrange for someone from our organization to speak on NPR, and basically answer people’s questions left and right. The general public took this suit seriously, we said it was ridiculous. We were right. However, we’re not going to get a blurb in the paper saying, “hey, those sex workers in Chicago know what they’re talking about” anytime soon.

It’s not to say that Dart doesn’t have his admirable qualities. He’s taken a tough stance on dogfighting, a pet cause of mine and a crime that was ignored by law enforcement for a long time until Michael Vick came along. He also stopped enforcing evictions last year as a result of the mortgage crisis. As someone who’s been evicted in the past, I can truly say that is one of the worst things that can happen to a person and I commend his actions on this. He’s a White Sox fan. Plus, he’s kind of sexy. Still, his efforts to fight prostitution are misguided and he’s likely to fail with other measures as there’s really no way to prevent prostitution or prostitutes from advertising their services. In the meantime, a lot of money will be spent on arrests when it could be used to provide other services such as housing and education for those in the sex trade. Jus’ sayin!

Perhaps someday these law enforcement officials will actually listen to the people they are trying to “help.”

I’ll admit that I’d never been more excited about a porn series than when I’d heard Tristan Taormino was doing a “Rough Sex” line for Vivid. Not only am I a huge fan of Tristan’s “Chemistry” and educational videos, but I’m a huge fan of rough sex as well. Yes, it’s true. The rougher the better for me and I have a hard time finding porn that depicts rough sex in a sexy, but non-disgusting or degrading way. That’s not to mention getting guys to participate in it in my personal life, which is equally as difficult and usually results in awkward and irritated moments. But I digress…

The first video in the “Rough Sex” line features five women and five definitions of Rough Sex. Each segment on the video features a set-up where both the male and female performer explain their experience with rough sex, what their limitations are, and what they like about rough sex. What I’ve always admired about Tristan’s videos is that she uses performers who actually enjoy what they’re doing and seem to approach their roles as porn stars in an intelligent manner, rather than, “I’m just here to get paid to fuck”. Through brief interviews, we get to know them as people and not just some figure than appears onscreen and has sex without giving the viewer anything to relate to. And sure, while the average horny guy may fast-forward through these parts, there’s something revolutionary about presenting porn performers as level-headed humans who actually enjoy the sex they’re having onscreen.

In the DVD’s first scene, Adrianna Nicole explains part of her attraction to rough sex is because “I enjoy intense experiences,” which is exactly what attracts me to it as well. Her scene with Marco Banderas starts out as an abduction from behind as she exits the shower, and the resulting roughness includes choking, manhandling, spanking, and even some kissing (!). However, after all this the sex transforms into more routine, typical porn-y sex until Banderas pulls her hair, whips her around and shoots his load in her hair.

Satine Phoenix’s scene with Derrick Pierce starts out a little slower, with a more gentle build-up involving more kissing, dirty talk, and then transforms into more roughness as the two get it on on the top of a cliff on a deserted road. Pierce plays the aggressor well and the chemistry between the two of them is undeniable. This was perhaps my favorite scene on the disc, as Satine’s genuine attraction to S/M play and being manhandled really shows here and by the end, she’s got the marks to prove it.

The scene with Francesca Le and Christian attempts to put the female in the aggressor role, punishing her workaholic husband who ignores her. The resulting scene is a typical Fed-Dom set up that’s not very rough and a little tired out if you have any sort of background in BDSM play. It’s nice to see the tables turned, however, but not a turn-on necessarily for me. The subsequent scene with Marie Luv and Julius Ceazher has the most realistic set-up and some of the more unpleasant interactions involving a couple having an argument. At times I couldn’t tell if Marie was experiencing pain or pleasure…or both…but it is one of the rougher scenes here.

We’ve all come to expect a lot from Sasha Grey nowadays and when she says she’s a “pain slut” who’s way more of a masochist than sadist, I was expecting a lot of hot, uber-rough sex for her scene with Danny Wylde. Instead, it’s a switch scene where they spend several minutes discussing their pain boundaries while playing pool. It all seems very unsexy to me as rough sex, in my opinion, should be spontaneous and constantly push boundaries. So, as a result, Grey’s scene has its moments, but sometimes it just falls flat, making me wonder if she could’ve, or would’ve, taken a lot more pain. Her orgasm is authentic, which is refreshing to see, and she seems to genuinely like being choked, but Sasha Grey I was expecting the limits to be pushed to the edge and I didn’t feel that was the case here. She’s still, of course, totally captivating to watch, so if you’re a Sasha Grey fan, you’ll be satisfied.

For all my nit-picky criticisms, I will say that Tristan’s videos never disappoint, and “Rough Sex” is very well-done in many respects. The camera catches close-ups of the performer’s faces as opposed to their genitals (though there are some genital close-ups for those who like that) and all of the cum shots are totally unique, as opposed to the typical on-the-face or in-the-mouth. It’s actually a great release for couples who like a little rough sex in their lives or even women who want to see a porn video from a female perspective. For a rough sex junkie like me, though, I wanted to see bodies thrashing, biting, hitting, people getting thrown across the room, constant resistance, forceful gang-bangs…but perhaps I’m the sick one here. I know this is just the first in the series, though, so hopefully that some of that stuff is coming up on the next “Rough Sex” DVD. It’s a good start, but I’m excited to see a lot more roughness in the subsequent releases.