A Year of Giving

New Year's Eve tends to be one of those holidays where I struggle to find something fun to do and find that most of my friends are unwilling to leave the house or don't have many ideas or options in mind. It's an overhyped and overpriced holiday that seems ridiculous to be a holiday at all. After all, it's just the first day of the year.

However, this year was different. I attended the "Synphoria" New Year's party and had an absolute blast. Synphoria parties/gatherings happen once a month at the home of a local DJ and his wife and are their way of building a community of positive, like-minded people. Though I wouldn't call myself a spiritual person, these parties involve a great deal of spirituality, but mostly feature fun stuff like dancing, great food, and creative performances. Everyone is friendly and people are encouraged to introduce themselves to everyone and anyone and start a conversation. They really are unlike any other party I've been to...and I usually hate parties. I couldn't think of anywhere else I wanted to be on New Year's Eve.

I admit I took a tablet of ecstasy, the only drug I truly enjoy nowadays, but at one point I was listening to the hostess, Emily, give a sermon and I got to thinking about the idea of giving. One of the things I enjoy about being a sex worker is that I am doing a form of healing work that involves spreading positive energy to another person. However short or long a period I spend with a client, he is usually happy and satisfied at the end of our session, as am I. While we may each be satisfied for different reasons, it's the same result. This rewarding exchange is why I feel sex work is such an enhancement to my life.

The idea that sex workers are so hated, so maligned, in this world seems so wrong since all we are doing is bringing tenderness, love, and joy to people's lives. The people who seek out our services are coming to us because they are lacking something in their lives...and are willing to pay to fill that void. We are considered immoral, yet it is men who come to us. People call us dirty, yet we are cleaner than the average citizen. The negativity that is showered upon those in the sex industry is insurmountable compared to the sheer positivity we bring to those of our clients.

Why is this?

I feel like I gave a lot over the past year. I helped out a lot of friends, family, and clients, but I didn't feel like I received a lot in return. Though it may be selfish of me to say that, I feel like I give too much at times and in the end, it hurts me. About a year ago, I became friends with a younger girl in the industry and tried to help her through her mental issues, boyfriend problems, and her insecurities about herself and her place in the industry. She let me down in a big way. I trusted her to be responsible and she breached that trust, making me wonder why I even help people at all. Yet still, I continue to reach out and help people because I know that positivity will someday make its way back to me. I hope.

So for this new year, I want to encourage everyone to re-think about the way they view sex workers and try spreading some of the love, just like we do. We're for lovin', not hatin', and once you come to terms with that, you'll realize why this business is such a necessity in life.