Help Me Help You
I've been ignoring my blog a little bit these days, haven't I? I apologize about that, as I've been so preoccupied with tons of activism, work, and other crap that I've become burnt out big time. Blogging has been the least of my worries.
I was putting huge chunks of my time and energy into organizing and promoting the 2008 Desiree Alliance Conference and the ongoing struggle that is SWOP-Chicago that I was starting to really lose my patience with people. I once heard another sex worker describe the process of organizing sex workers like "herding kittens" and it really is. These are people who are used to making their own schedules, sleeping till late afternoon, working only when they feel like it, and hiding away from the rest of the world until it's time for them to come out. Well, that time is now, ladies and gents, 'cuz we've got some really big problems.
I've been an activist of some form or another since I was in my late teens and my experience with most organizations I've been a part of has almost always been the same. Two or three dedicated people "run the show" while a handful of others just show up and pretend to care but aren't really interested in doing anything. They show up to meetings and parties, but rarely do anything. I'm not totally criticizing these people as I've been in their position before, and sometimes it's hard to know what to do. I admire the fact that they care. What angers me is when people don't return emails, or phone calls, or communication directed at them of some sort. When people bitch and complain, yet offer up no solutions. I hear excuses like "I have no time", etc. but let's face it, we're sex workers, we have all the time in the world.
As sex workers, we have to learn to help ourselves. We have to learn to rise above our personal problems or issues and move past them instead of letting them paralyze us.
Business is slow? Put money in the bank next time and keep it there. Don't spend it on frivolous items or shopping sprees when you know a recession is coming. I worked after 9/11 and I survived, though it wasn't easy. I learned to live cheaply.
I can't tell you how many times I've been out with a sex worker who complained about not paying her bills and then bought some expensive item while we were out wandering around in some shopping district. Lower your rates for awhile and offer more services. Some business is better than none, right?
Feeling sorry for yourself and sitting alone all day isn't going to help you either. Get a hobby, go back to school, and plan for the future. The smartest sex workers I know have a plan for the future of some sort and are working toward achieving it. Whether it happens for them or not, you have to have goals. Sex workers who constantly battle depression and self-doubt tend to have no vision for the future other than when they're going to buy their next bag of weed.
As a sex worker community, we have to help each other help ourselves. The drama, the flakiness, the infighting, the negativity, etc. isn't going to do anything positive for any of us. We're having our rights violated every day and as a community we have to try to take a unified stand against all this otherwise we just look like a bunch of stupid flakes that people perceive us to be. I'll admit I'm still fairly new to sex worker activism, but I pretty frustrated at this point. Sooner or later you have to realize that people only care about themselves until something horrific happens...like getting arrested or assaulted...and then they want your help. Why wait until that point? Why not try to prevent it?
It's easy to turn a blind eye when you don't feel like something is affecting you. Like people who don't vote because they feel their vote doesn't count. It does matter. There's strength in numbers. If all the sex workers in the US alone got angry and marched on Washington or to their local police station or Mayor's office, we'd have a really fucking strong, powerful movement. Shit, if all the sex workers in Chicago alone marched on City Hall, we might even scare the Mayor. But it's not going to happen. Because people are scared, or they're depressed, or they're ignorant, or they're sitting in their bedrooms smokin' a joint.
The past few weeks have been stressful, depressing, and just plain disappointing. I've bee ostracized, ridiculed, flaked-out too many times, and worse yet called a "bitch" and a "cunt" by an angry black man (during my "straight" job, no less). I'm done. It's time for someone else to step up to the plate for awhile and take the hits. I've tried to help people time and time again and all I get is a shitstorm.
It's time for people to help me. Help me so I can help you. Get active, get angry, get off your ass. And when you say you're going to do something, do it. Please.
On that note, I'd like to give huge props to my girlfriends Kimberlee Cline and Sadistinatrix, who are not only beautiful and amazing providers but up with 100 times more shit from people than I could ever tolerate. I love both of you dearly and am so thankful for the work you've done. I'm upset that I won't have either of you around after the summer, but thanks for being there for me in the past week.
Lastly, one of my co-writers at the webzine, Sex-Kitten, Jewel Scott, has been bravely battling cancer since last year. This week, her condition took a turn for the worse and she's being admitted to a hospice this weekend. I met Jewel a few years back in Minneapolis and eeked out a comeback win over her in the board game The Biggest Pervert. It was a tight race, even after I lied about "felching." Jewel graciously showed us around Minneapolis and was very patient even after I went ballistic when my car got towed from the downtown area while we were at a burlesque show. Thanks so much for that Jewel...I am thinking of you at this time and hoping for the best. If I believed in God, I would pray for you. If you've read Jewel's writings at SK or elsewhere, please send her a message at Sex-Kitten during this time and it will be relayed to her.
I was putting huge chunks of my time and energy into organizing and promoting the 2008 Desiree Alliance Conference and the ongoing struggle that is SWOP-Chicago that I was starting to really lose my patience with people. I once heard another sex worker describe the process of organizing sex workers like "herding kittens" and it really is. These are people who are used to making their own schedules, sleeping till late afternoon, working only when they feel like it, and hiding away from the rest of the world until it's time for them to come out. Well, that time is now, ladies and gents, 'cuz we've got some really big problems.
I've been an activist of some form or another since I was in my late teens and my experience with most organizations I've been a part of has almost always been the same. Two or three dedicated people "run the show" while a handful of others just show up and pretend to care but aren't really interested in doing anything. They show up to meetings and parties, but rarely do anything. I'm not totally criticizing these people as I've been in their position before, and sometimes it's hard to know what to do. I admire the fact that they care. What angers me is when people don't return emails, or phone calls, or communication directed at them of some sort. When people bitch and complain, yet offer up no solutions. I hear excuses like "I have no time", etc. but let's face it, we're sex workers, we have all the time in the world.
As sex workers, we have to learn to help ourselves. We have to learn to rise above our personal problems or issues and move past them instead of letting them paralyze us.
Business is slow? Put money in the bank next time and keep it there. Don't spend it on frivolous items or shopping sprees when you know a recession is coming. I worked after 9/11 and I survived, though it wasn't easy. I learned to live cheaply.
I can't tell you how many times I've been out with a sex worker who complained about not paying her bills and then bought some expensive item while we were out wandering around in some shopping district. Lower your rates for awhile and offer more services. Some business is better than none, right?
Feeling sorry for yourself and sitting alone all day isn't going to help you either. Get a hobby, go back to school, and plan for the future. The smartest sex workers I know have a plan for the future of some sort and are working toward achieving it. Whether it happens for them or not, you have to have goals. Sex workers who constantly battle depression and self-doubt tend to have no vision for the future other than when they're going to buy their next bag of weed.
As a sex worker community, we have to help each other help ourselves. The drama, the flakiness, the infighting, the negativity, etc. isn't going to do anything positive for any of us. We're having our rights violated every day and as a community we have to try to take a unified stand against all this otherwise we just look like a bunch of stupid flakes that people perceive us to be. I'll admit I'm still fairly new to sex worker activism, but I pretty frustrated at this point. Sooner or later you have to realize that people only care about themselves until something horrific happens...like getting arrested or assaulted...and then they want your help. Why wait until that point? Why not try to prevent it?
It's easy to turn a blind eye when you don't feel like something is affecting you. Like people who don't vote because they feel their vote doesn't count. It does matter. There's strength in numbers. If all the sex workers in the US alone got angry and marched on Washington or to their local police station or Mayor's office, we'd have a really fucking strong, powerful movement. Shit, if all the sex workers in Chicago alone marched on City Hall, we might even scare the Mayor. But it's not going to happen. Because people are scared, or they're depressed, or they're ignorant, or they're sitting in their bedrooms smokin' a joint.
The past few weeks have been stressful, depressing, and just plain disappointing. I've bee ostracized, ridiculed, flaked-out too many times, and worse yet called a "bitch" and a "cunt" by an angry black man (during my "straight" job, no less). I'm done. It's time for someone else to step up to the plate for awhile and take the hits. I've tried to help people time and time again and all I get is a shitstorm.
It's time for people to help me. Help me so I can help you. Get active, get angry, get off your ass. And when you say you're going to do something, do it. Please.
On that note, I'd like to give huge props to my girlfriends Kimberlee Cline and Sadistinatrix, who are not only beautiful and amazing providers but up with 100 times more shit from people than I could ever tolerate. I love both of you dearly and am so thankful for the work you've done. I'm upset that I won't have either of you around after the summer, but thanks for being there for me in the past week.
Lastly, one of my co-writers at the webzine, Sex-Kitten, Jewel Scott, has been bravely battling cancer since last year. This week, her condition took a turn for the worse and she's being admitted to a hospice this weekend. I met Jewel a few years back in Minneapolis and eeked out a comeback win over her in the board game The Biggest Pervert. It was a tight race, even after I lied about "felching." Jewel graciously showed us around Minneapolis and was very patient even after I went ballistic when my car got towed from the downtown area while we were at a burlesque show. Thanks so much for that Jewel...I am thinking of you at this time and hoping for the best. If I believed in God, I would pray for you. If you've read Jewel's writings at SK or elsewhere, please send her a message at Sex-Kitten during this time and it will be relayed to her.
posted by Serpentlibertine at
11:10 PM
1 Comments:
I've been an activist of some form or another since I was in my late teens and my experience with most organizations I've been a part of has almost always been the same. Two or three dedicated people "run the show" while a handful of others just show up and pretend to care but aren't really interested in doing anything.
God, I SO hear you on that.
Post a Comment
<< Home