Pro Dommes are Sex Workers
As if I needed to tell people. However, I think there's a lot of confusion here and I've tried to clarify it in the past with my "Who is A Sex Worker?" but I suppose you can't force labels on people who don't want them. Well, I'm going to. Mainly because I'm really tired of people who think they're all high and mighty just because they don't have sex with their clients or masturbate them to orgasm or whatever it is they do or don't do.
I was speaking with a friend of mine on the phone tonight, who happens to be a professional dominatrix, and she was mentioning how one well-known domme here in town refuses to call what she does "sex work." This is something I see a lot with different types of people in the sex industry but I seem to see it more than often in the BDSM community than anywhere else. They thumb their nose at escorts and porn performers and look down upon them as though they are above what we do. We call it "domme (dumb) disease." People who extend their work personalities onto the others they interact with in their non-work life. In honesty, I have no respect for these people, as sex workers or otherwise.
Look, I started out in this industry as a dominatrix and did it for a long time before working in other areas of the industry and still occasionally do. I started working at dungeons before it became the popular and trendy profession it now is (back then it was somewhat underground). I enjoyed being a dominatrix a lot and it came naturally to me, but I got tired of the greedy, asshole dungeon owners, the difficult clients, and the ridiculous posturing that most of the female dommes played out, and still continue to do. Why must every dominatrix be goth looking? Because they all have shitty taste in music? I was a blonde for awhile when I worked at a dungeon and I thought it was amusing, in my own little way. Because you know, how many blonde dommes do you know of?
So when I see pro dommes put a disclaimer on their website "Absolutely no prostitution whatsoever, I will not fuck you, etc., etc." I really wonder if they're putting that put there to protect themselves or if they're actually dissing those who do fuck their clients, in a somewhat subtle way. If you strap on a dildo and fuck your client in the ass with it, you're committing an act of prostitution. If you fondle or torture a client's cock and balls in CBT play, you're committing an act of prostitution. If you jerk a client off to make him come, you're committing an act of prostitution. If you hold a violent wand on a client's cock and it makes him aroused, that's prostitution. While a lot of dommes may think they are protected by the law because they aren't having actual sex with their clients, they are mistaken if they think they aren't committing a form of prostitution that could have them arrested. It's happened in the past before at dungeons I had worked at (luckily not when I was there.)
Now back to the dominatrix who doesn't believe that what she's doing is "sex work." Why exactly does she think her clients come in to see her, or any dominatrix for that matter? For the hell of it? Why do she get dressed up in sexy outfits that show off her big fake tits? Anybody who thinks that professional BDSM play is anything but sexual in nature is really fooling herself. Men pay for the services of a professional dominatrix because it arouses the sexually, it helps them get off, whether it happens in the dungeon or in the car before they drive home. If the submissive is lying there, naked, with a hard-on, waiting to be teased and tortured for his own gratification, are you really going to deny that what you are doing is sexual in nature? I knew from day 1, when I was a wee twenty-two year old just starting out, that it was. And that doing so made me a sex worker.
So when I hear other dommes dissing escorts and pro's calling them "hookers" and "sluts" and such in the derogatory "I don't do that, those girls are gross" way, it makes me cringe and want to throw a few pouches their way, but I can't help laugh them off. After all, they caught on to a trendy profession that was deemed "cool" by all their friends without having any real concept or realization about what it is they really do. It's fun to dress up in fetish gear and play with kinky toys and make people believe you're some high and mighty being that should be worshipped.
Well guess what bitches? You're whores just like the rest of us.
I was speaking with a friend of mine on the phone tonight, who happens to be a professional dominatrix, and she was mentioning how one well-known domme here in town refuses to call what she does "sex work." This is something I see a lot with different types of people in the sex industry but I seem to see it more than often in the BDSM community than anywhere else. They thumb their nose at escorts and porn performers and look down upon them as though they are above what we do. We call it "domme (dumb) disease." People who extend their work personalities onto the others they interact with in their non-work life. In honesty, I have no respect for these people, as sex workers or otherwise.
Look, I started out in this industry as a dominatrix and did it for a long time before working in other areas of the industry and still occasionally do. I started working at dungeons before it became the popular and trendy profession it now is (back then it was somewhat underground). I enjoyed being a dominatrix a lot and it came naturally to me, but I got tired of the greedy, asshole dungeon owners, the difficult clients, and the ridiculous posturing that most of the female dommes played out, and still continue to do. Why must every dominatrix be goth looking? Because they all have shitty taste in music? I was a blonde for awhile when I worked at a dungeon and I thought it was amusing, in my own little way. Because you know, how many blonde dommes do you know of?
So when I see pro dommes put a disclaimer on their website "Absolutely no prostitution whatsoever, I will not fuck you, etc., etc." I really wonder if they're putting that put there to protect themselves or if they're actually dissing those who do fuck their clients, in a somewhat subtle way. If you strap on a dildo and fuck your client in the ass with it, you're committing an act of prostitution. If you fondle or torture a client's cock and balls in CBT play, you're committing an act of prostitution. If you jerk a client off to make him come, you're committing an act of prostitution. If you hold a violent wand on a client's cock and it makes him aroused, that's prostitution. While a lot of dommes may think they are protected by the law because they aren't having actual sex with their clients, they are mistaken if they think they aren't committing a form of prostitution that could have them arrested. It's happened in the past before at dungeons I had worked at (luckily not when I was there.)
Now back to the dominatrix who doesn't believe that what she's doing is "sex work." Why exactly does she think her clients come in to see her, or any dominatrix for that matter? For the hell of it? Why do she get dressed up in sexy outfits that show off her big fake tits? Anybody who thinks that professional BDSM play is anything but sexual in nature is really fooling herself. Men pay for the services of a professional dominatrix because it arouses the sexually, it helps them get off, whether it happens in the dungeon or in the car before they drive home. If the submissive is lying there, naked, with a hard-on, waiting to be teased and tortured for his own gratification, are you really going to deny that what you are doing is sexual in nature? I knew from day 1, when I was a wee twenty-two year old just starting out, that it was. And that doing so made me a sex worker.
So when I hear other dommes dissing escorts and pro's calling them "hookers" and "sluts" and such in the derogatory "I don't do that, those girls are gross" way, it makes me cringe and want to throw a few pouches their way, but I can't help laugh them off. After all, they caught on to a trendy profession that was deemed "cool" by all their friends without having any real concept or realization about what it is they really do. It's fun to dress up in fetish gear and play with kinky toys and make people believe you're some high and mighty being that should be worshipped.
Well guess what bitches? You're whores just like the rest of us.
posted by Serpentlibertine at
12:32 AM
4 Comments:
I agree. I've written about this too, wondering how different I am now from my previous work as an escort: http://www.peridotash.com/?p=168
That reminds me of something I read on Catherine La Croix's website, an excerpt from a book she is writing. She said, "...and make no mistake, pro dommes are just whores of another flavor." Her pro domme site about six years ago was the first one I ever saw that I was really impressed by. I'm not sure where she is regarding the publishing of her book but it sounds pretty good. Catherine La Croix wrote an advice column on Escort Support before it went down.
That was an excellent post, Serpent.
Thanks so much Aspasia! Yeah, I believe Catherine La Croix had a book out several years back but I can't remember the name of it. I could be mistaken, tough, so I will have to check.
Do Escort Support go down? I was one of the first members of that site and stayed a member until they banned me from the message boards a year or so ago for trying to tell people about Danger Zone 411. I can't say I'm too surprised about it.
Peridot, thanks for the link. Yeah, I mean the two professions aren't that different from one another if you really think about it. We are catering to men's desires in both, as you mentioned, but I actually do that more when I work as a domme as opposed to escorting. I actually get sexually satisfied myself when I escort as opposed to never getting that when I domme. Dommeing is fun, but yeah, it's more expensive to do and you typically charge less than escorting. So yeah, I make no excuses for dabbling in both.
Thank you for this post! I really hate domme posturing. Like your clients care if you are more-top-than-thou and calling escorts sluts and tramps! They're probably also seeing escorts.
I understand different strokes etc. Some people enjoy being a domme more, and some people would rather be a stripper or an escort. But until the law stops abusing us all, we're in it together, so let's work together.
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